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due date: *26-5-2000 I am not a
Placenta Previa mother but a Vasa Previa mother. This
means that part of the umbilical cord was unprotectedly
running over the membranes. I hope it's ok to share my
story.Last year, in June, Robert and I decided to let
nature rule. We have always wanted children and we
thought that the time was right now. We both felt like we
were ready, and able to give our child a bright future,
surrounded with our love. And of course, we had to share
our enthusiasm with everyone. My parents reacted
carefully: it might not work out.
- We were so happy when we did the pregnancy test
in November after we came back from our holiday
to Thailand. It was 3.30 in the morning and we
woke up because of the jetlag. At 4.00 I called
my parents to tell them the happy news. And again
they reacted carefully: it could go wrong; Don't
get too enthusiastic before the critical first
three months are over.
-
- But everything went great, we had a wonderful
pregnancy. ! I did not get morning sickness, the
checkups by the midwife were terrific (blood
pressure, blood- and urine samples, heartbeat of
the baby). Because we were not certain of the due
date, we had an ultrasound in December. We were
thrilled when we found out that I was one more
month pregnant than we thought. Everyone said I
radiated from happiness and I felt great! The
whole pregnancy through I had no complaints at
all. Of course I slept less comfortable at the
end and walked less flexible but that is
normal.
-
- When I got my pregnancy leave, four weeks before
the due date I had enough energy left to paint
the house (inside) and do a lot of little jobs
around the house which had to be done before the
baby came. I travelled throughout our country to
visit my girlfriends and sister-in-law who had
just delivered their babies. On Wednesday May 23
I drove all the way to the south of the
Netherlands (2,5 hour drive) to visit my parents.
I went shopping with my mum to buy the last baby
stuff (clothes, a photo album), and we couldn't
stop talking about the baby. The next day we
would drive back to Kwintsheul (near The Hague)
and she would help me clean our house and bring
the baby cradle which she and my dad had made
themselves. The whole family was very much
involved in my pregnancy. They were actually a
little bit pregnant themselves. It would be the
first grandchild for my parents and the second
one for Robert's father, who had just welcomed
his first grandchild 4 weeks ago. We had a
beautiful picture in our head of how our child
would grow up together with little Julian, the
son of Robert';s brother, and how they would play
together. But that night, from Wednesday to
Thursday, my water broke, at my parents' house. I
went to the bathroom at 3.30 in the morning and
noticed that I could not control my urine, so I
thought. Back in bed I felt fluid flowing down my
legs and then I realised that it could be
amniotic fluid. My mother and I couldn't sleep
anymore and at 6.00 we got up and drove back to
Kwintsheul. I phoned Robert out of bed. We were
so excited! It had started, we would soon be mum
and dad. The midwife came by when we were back in
Kwintsheul and she confirmed it to be amniotic
fluid. It was clear as water with little dark
hair in it: baby hair of our long expected
child!
-
- When the contractions would not have been started
the next morning I would have to go to the
hospital where they would artificially provoke
the contractions, because otherwise there would
be a big chance of infection. That day we were in
a party mood. We knew for sure that we would
become mum and dad that day or the day
afterwards. We had asked my mum if se would like
to be there, at the delivery and she was
thrilled. Robert went to work that day to finish
up the current things and to tell everyone the
good news. When the contractions would start I
would call him and he would come straight
home.
-
- I went to the greenery to buy a fresh pine apple
which I ate, because there appears to be
something in the heart of the pine apple to start
the contractions, so I read. But the contractions
did not come that day, or the night that
followed. Too bad, because we would have loved to
deliver our baby at home. But going to the
hospital was extra save, we would have nothing to
worry about, there would be a whole team of
specialists, so nothing could go wrong.
-
- On Friday morning, May 26, we arrived at the
hospital at 8.30. I had to lie down in the middle
bed in the middle of a row of three beds and got
two belly ties to measure the contractions and
the heart of the baby. The doctor came to
introduce herself. It was a young enthusiastic
doctor (named Annemarie) who reassured us:
getting into labour in a hospital is great
fun!
-
- The heartbeat of our baby was an example of how
it should be. When the doctor touched me inside,
I appeared to have an opening of 3 cm which was
great. They could start with the infuse with
oxytocine immediately.Before going into the
delivery room I had to go to the bathroom and I
noticed a little bit blood on the toilet paper.
But that was normal after the touching, they told
me.
-
- The delivery room was very cosy, with a view on
the forest. We put on a nice CD to listen to.Then
Annemarie came by to insert a pressure meter to
measure the intensity of the contractions, and an
electrode which they would screw on the babies
head to measure the heartbeat of the baby. When
she inserted the pressure meter though, a
enormous amount of blood came out of me. I was
terrifies and tears started to roll from my eyes
when I saw the look on Annemarie's face. Milani,
now!, I heard her shouting. After a telephone
call from the assistant, doctor Milani came in,
the gynaecologist. Annemarie still had her arm in
me, she didn't dare to pull it out. Solution?,
she asked. No, the blood is too thick for that,
doctor Milani replied. When Annemarie pulled her
arm out of me a second stream of blood came out.
The gynaecologist still put the electrode on our
baby's head and we saw the heartbeat decrease.
For one moment it looked like it stabilised
itself but then rapidly decreased.
-
- I was rushed to the Operation Room were they have
delivered Julia with a C-section. This was around
15 minutes after the blood came out for the first
time. Our baby came out of my uterus at 10.01
without a heart-beat.. The paediatrician took
over and started to clear her longs and heart
massage and in the meantime they tried to bring
replacing blood into the blood circulation but
they failed. After 17 minutes of reanimation they
gave up on her.Robert was there, during the
reanimation and for ten long minutes he still had
hope. The doctors were working on her, it should
be all right. He got our Julia in his arms while
I was waking up from the anaesthesia. I saw
people in green coats all over me who drove me
along the corridor to the delivery room. They all
looked very sad. How is my baby?, I asked, but no
one answered. I asked it again and again. The
doctor will be here any minute, one of them
replied. And then I knew. I started crying and
suddenly I heard Robert crying heart-rending.
No!!!, I shouted and Robert put the baby in my
arms. It's a girl,, I heard someone say. She was
so beautiful! This wonderful little creature, our
Julia. Why? How is this possible? Later it
appeared to be Vasa Previa and velamentous
insertion of the umbilical cord. This was
diagnosed during the operation. While inserting
the pressure meter they probably have ruptured a
vessel which belonged to Julia and which made all
of her blood flow away. A little baby has only
300 ml of blood, in contradiction with an adult
who has 5 litre. She was perfectly healthy, a
beautiful girl of 3625 grams (is a little more
than 7 pounds) and 50 cm. She had everything to
cope with the world. But it was not meant to
be.
-
- Our whole world collapsed, we had been looking
forward to this baby girl so much, she was so
welcome. Suddenly your hands are empty and my
belly too, while everywhere around us perfectly
healthy babies are being born. Why us, why our
baby, she had everything going for her. Why did
they have to use that stupid pressure meter while
the ties around my belly also worked all right?
Why didn't they do a check up before, than they
would have performed a C-section
immediately.
-
- Questions without an answer.
-
- The days which followed in the hospital we stayed
together, the three of us. We could hold Julia
with us for as long as we wanted, cuddle her and
love her. That was wonderful. Tuesday evening the
three of us went home and she slept in her own
room. We have buried her on Thursday, Ascension
Day. The farewell was beautiful, a very personal
divine service by our opposite neighbour, the
priest. We choose our own songs (Bright Eyes (Art
Garfunkel), Lullaby (Billy Joel) and 2 Dutch
songs), our neighbour (she is a florist) had made
some beautiful bouquets and she got a beautiful
place on the graveyard. Robert has put her in her
grave himself.
-
- She will always be our first child, our Julia and
we are her proud parents. We have beautiful
pictures of her which we love to show to
everyone. But life at home, after the hustle and
stir of the funeral, is empty and meaningless.
Everything brings up memories of her and the life
with her as we had desired so much. The days are
filled with tears, benumbedness, consternation
and looking for distraction.
-
- It will still take a longtime for us to deal with
this enormous loss. Life goes on around us, while
for us, the world seems to stand still, we
realise that. And we also know that the tough
edges of ur sorrow will wear off. And that life
will have its new beautiful moments where we can
get our strength from, although it is hard to
imagine right now. It just takes time.
-
- All our feelings of unbelief, anger, inability we
have right now, we want to do something with it.
We want to prevent that others have to lose their
babies the same way that we did. Internet taught
me that Vasa Previa is a symptom that appears in
1:3000-5000 pregnancies. I would say that is a
whole lot! The mortality rate is 50-90%. With a
Doppler Ultrasound it can be made visible in
advance and a C-section can be made. Besides this
we are furious about the pressure meter which was
inserted and which seems to have ruptured the
vessel of our little girl. In the hospital we
went to they seem to use two kinds of pressure
meters, one is very thin and flexible while the
other one, the one they used, was very stiff,
surly and big In the delivery room where I was
being brought to they used instruments which
could only work with the stiff meter. The doctor
who has inserted it (Annemarie) told us
afterwards that she will never be using that kind
of meter again. Too late for us though.
-
- From others we hear that their hospital did not
use any inserting material at all. They use the
belly ties all through the delivery. When they
would have used those, Julia would probably have
lived. Especially because the 50% of the babies
that die because of Vasa Previa, mostly die
during the rupture of the membranes and they were
already broken in our case. Nature did his job
right, it should have gone well.
-
- We feel that the medical science has failed in 2
points. We had 2 chances of bringing our baby
healthy to the world. On the one side by
investigating us before inserting dangerous
instruments and on the other side by using the
other kind of pressure meter. We do realise that
it will not bring our angel back but we cannot
put it aside of us.
-
- Later Robert believes he remembers that the
obstetrician who has performed the Ultrasound in
the beginning of our pregnancy told us that the
umbilical cord was not in the middle of the
placenta, but that was no problem according to
her. They should have investigated us further
then already.
-
- We recently found out about an academical thesis
named: The policy of premature broken membranes ?
term by P. Ottervanger. She contradicts the words
of the midwife and the hospital, namely that it
is preferable to wait for the contractions for
48-72 hours and that the chances of infections
are neglectible. When we should have let nature
do his way, chances are that Julia would have
lived now. Besides this Ottervanger wrote about
Prostaglandin as preferable way to provoke the
contractions, above oxytocine which involved
inserting the pressure meter. Why didn't they use
that? Robert has called the hospital and
confronted them with this and Annemarie couldn't
give him an immediate answer. She did not even
know why they used that specific policy.
Wednesday, June 28 we have an appointment at the
hospital and hopefully she will come up with some
answers.
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- Love Marlou, mother of Julia (*26-5-2000*)
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